Vampires Don't Die

Vampires do not die. That is what I learnt when I became a vampire in the late 1800s. I was very happy when I found out that I would be young forever as I would hate to be Tithonus. But then I was young and inexperienced and could not foresee my future in the 21^st Century.

The 21^st Century is a very different ball game altogether. Throughout the 20^th Century, we vampires had had fun. We are generally harmless as opposed to how we are portrayed in Hollywood movies. We only hunt for food and in that too we are very gentle. We will make you unconscious and drink only a part of your blood through small cuts. When you will wake up, which is generally a few hours later, all you will feel is a bit dizzy. We vampires were originally mere mortals but were converted into vampires through a process that is a trade secret.

I was a peasant boy from Italy only having turned 18 when I became a vampire. The times were great and our numbers strong. We roamed from country to country and even fought in the two World Wars. The wars are always a feast for us as men kill men and we get to drink the blood. No one seems to mind that. I have been to almost all the countries in the world, met numerous people and I know several languages. A century is a long time but it passes so quickly. I remember everything I did ever since I became a vampire, but I shall not bore you with that. Ah, they were good times….

But these days it is very difficult to make two ends meet. Even though we are vampires, we love people and we love to be in their company. Humans show so many emotions, eat so many different foods, drink so many different drinks and they have so many ingenuous ways to have fun. But we vampires began to shun their company almost overnight during the 1990s. This was the time when glasses and mirrors were used widely for construction. You must know that we have no reflection and so does everyone. As more and more places began to have buildings and houses with mirrors, it was becoming difficult for us to be with people lest our identity be revealed.

By the 21^st Century, it has become impossible for us to go out and meet people. We now stick to the back alleys. Now here we faced another problem. Get hold of a fellow who comes to the back alley and you could be sure that he takes drugs or drinks too much. Their blood is already poisoned. This we learnt to our dismay when a large number of us fell very sick after drinking this poisonous blood. Initially we did not know what was wrong. So we went ahead and made a scientist a vampire. We provided him with all the facilities necessary and after a year of research he came up with this reason. So now when we get a fellow in the back alley we have to ask him several questions about whether he or she takes drugs or drinks, check for needle marks, and mostly we find that their blood is poisoned. Many of us are very weak and sick due to the lack of blood. Lack of blood can even lead to our death. Many of my companions have died out of thirst and we are only a handful left to fend for ourselves.

Why do the youth of today take poisonous drugs, smoke and drink so much? Why can they not be like their ancestors who had so many other ways to enjoy themselves other than taking drugs? Why do they not play games? Why do they spend so much money on buying drugs and drinks when they can eat healthy food with that money and live longer? Why are they depriving us from our life blood?

We cannot grab hold of people and drink their blood because if people find out that we exist, they are going to burn us to death with no sympathy at all. Men can be merciless you know. The poisoned blood is also present in the countryside these days. Humans have become very inhuman. They no longer wage proper wars so that we can drink the blood. We follow the news minutely and whenever a war breaks out we run towards that location but even before we reach the war zone, the war is over. We got a lease of life when the USA attacked Afghanistan and Iraq, and we will support them if they want to wage another war with Iran or anyone. We need blood or else we shall perish.

Vampires do not die, but when they do not get blood for long, they die. Me and several others are at our death beds. Some are terminally sick after drinking poisoned blood. It is our humble request to mankind to become human once more. You have lost all your human instincts. You do not kill or slay anymore, you do not spill blood anymore. Look at your illustrious predecessors who ruled by the blade of his sword. Why do you not do the same? Become humans, wage wars, and save the life of this poor vampire.

Human Resource and India

I have been reading these books on human resource management for some time now. These books talk about the innate capacity of human beings to work and their desire to do something useful. I do not at all agree with most of these theories. These theories do not seem to apply in the Indian context, or rather, they do not support my own experience with employees and employers. I agree that I am not qualified enough to question these theories as I have never held a ‘real job’ and have always worked as a volunteer for NGOs, but I have friends and acquaintances who are employees in various corporate and government organizations. From what they have to say, these theories seem very baseless in the Indian context.

Three of my cousins and most of my friends work in software development companies and are located in various companies. I have known them for childhood and I know that they are not interested in making a mark in society. They want the money. They took the job as a job in a software company means greater social status, relatively more money and postings at metropolitan cities where they can party (basically get drunk). Some have taken up the job because they do not want to study anymore and others have taken up the job because everyone else was doing so. They do not like the job, they do not want to look for a new job and they do not want to do something different.

Here many will point out that this is because the organization is not giving them enough incentives to work sincerely. If that is the case, then why is the scenario the same in corporate houses that are known to be one of the best employers? Why is this the case in MNCs? Why is this the case even in public organizations?

I live in an industrial town. The main industry here is the steel plant and almost everyone around me works here. The employees are provided with subsidized living quarters, electricity and water, and are even given coupons for shopping. The pay is great and on top of that there are a number of bonuses and holiday packages throughout the year. The working hours are also not very taxing. This being the case, most people are not very happy with it. They crib and cry all the time about how bad their condition is and that they are being exploited by the management. There are uproars if the management asks them to work an extra hour. There were other industries in this town but they have all been closed down due to militant trade unionism. Now the employees have no jobs and many are poverty stricken.

How can you use Western ideas of Human Resource Management to the Indian scenario? Here people do not want to work at all but want to be paid more than they deserve. Here all people care about is money and social status. They do not care about the world at large. They do not follow the news and they do not want to make a difference. They just want to be rich and show off. India needs new theories of Human Resource Management keeping in mind the character of the people here and what motivates them. Western ideas need to be modified when applying to the Indian scenario.

Despicable!!!

Rahul Gandhi is called the Prince of the Congress Party. Politicians and party members alike kiss the ground he walks on. This fellow decides to address a rally in the village of Phulpur in UP. At this rally, a student from Allahabad University protested by carrying a black flag. The student was not shouting slogans, nor was he armed. He was standing there with the flag. Police and Rahul Gandhi’s aides were quick enough to attack him and beat him up mercilessly. Jitin Prasad, a politician and close aide of Rahul Gandhi, went ahead and kicked and beat the student severely along with police. Are we supposed to tolerate this? Is this democracy? And after all this, we still kiss the ground that these politicians walk on? The police could have arrested him or made the student leave the venue but instead they chose to beat him up mercilessly. Maybe he belonged to another political party but that is no civilized or democratic way of treating dissension or opposition. This issue will be hushed up very soon. The media will forget about it tomorrow and we shall go on worshiping these politicians. Are these people to decide our fate, who beat up people who have something different to say? This is despicable and there are no excuses.

The world at large calls India a democratic country but pray tell me where is the democracy? Corrupt politicians abound. Criminal cases against them are hushed up. They are reelected time and again. They always break their promises. They tolerate no opposition and even use force to subdue dissenting voices. We are scared of complaining against them for fear of our own physical safety. Where is the democracy in this? I once heard in a movie, “Peace is not the absence of violence, but it is the presence of justice”. I paraphrase it in this context, “Democracy is not the presence of innumerable political parties, but it is the presence of justice”.

Watch the video on YouTube at this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgpzpxbz9hI

The Endangered Sparrow

I was reading this article in the newspaper today about why the common sparrow was becoming so rare to come by these days and I was surprised how much I agreed with the finding and also by the fact that they had omitted looking into another dimension of the problem. The article stated several reasons for the decreasing numbers of sparrows in general and their absence from city life. One of the main reasons this article pointed out was the availability of food.

Sparrows survive on seeds and insects. The rampant use of pesticides has affected the availability of insects that the sparrows feed on. The use of engineered grass in a large scale in the cities has also led to the disappearance of local varieties of grass and its seeds on which the sparrows used to feast. The use of artificially modified food grains are also being seen as a reason for the depletion of the sparrow population. Ornithologists say that these modified food grains are acting as slow poison for the sparrows. In the context of the almost absence of sparrows in cities, ornithologists have blamed the modern architectural style. They argue that the best place for sparrows to make their nests is cool dark crevices that old large and open houses used to provide. The present structure of box shaped architecture provides inadequate locations for sparrows to make their nests. I more or less agree with all these findings as they seem logical and I have no means of verifying these findings. But I have been taken aback by the fact that everyone seems to have missed one important factor (at least I think it is important).

When I was very little, our backyard used to be filled with sparrows. There was a pomegranate tree in the back and sparrows used to make their nests on it. They were numerous. But by the year 2000, their numbers suddenly declined and now I rarely see them at all. When I go to the outskirts of the town, I see sparrows in abundance. This made me think a lot and I have come up with a theory. I have noticed that the sudden reduction in the number of sparrows in my neighbourhood coincided with the construction of a transmission tower for cellular services. The sudden disappearance of sparrows from other regions of my town, I found out, also coincided with the construction of similar towers in these regions. The sparrow population has moved back to the outskirts because there are no transmission towers there. I think that this is too much of a coincidence. The disappearance of the sparrow from city life has got to do, to a large extent, something with the spread of cellular services. The radio waves used by the cellular service seems to be affecting the sparrow which is forcing it to flee areas where these waves are strong.

Research has been going on for a long time about the effect of these radio waves on living tissues but no conclusive study has yet been published. If what I propose is true then it is time we looked into the matter more closely. Corporates will not be willing to agree to the fact that these waves have harmful effects on living tissues as such a finding will affect their business and they will be forced to spend more on finding alternative solutions. But it is time we broke out of this vicious circle of protecting a few at the cost of the rest. No one profits in such an arrangement for a long time. Dictatorship needs to be replaced by democracy.

Weddings and Food

I live in a small town in the state of West Bengal in India. Here things are done very differently from that in a metropolitan city like Calcutta. One such difference I would like to talk about – weddings. Weddings in small towns and in the rural areas are very different from those that are held in Calcutta.

A marriage in a small town is a very familial issue and is held dear by everyone around. Neighbours voluntarily take part in the rituals and the celebrations and they take it upon themselves to make the wedding a success. But sometimes this over-enthusiasm gets too unbearable for people who are not used to such an environment. I love the whole wedding ceremony but I hate the part where guests are supposed to eat. That, my dear friends, is a nightmare in itself.

In almost all small town and rural weddings, the buffet system is frowned upon and deemed too impersonal. Guests are expected to be seated and served their meal. In many cases family members taken upon themselves the charge of serving the guests and in other times caterers are hired to do the job. A temporary construction of bamboo and fancy cloth is erected to serve as the dinning space. This construction, called the pandal in the local parlance, can be of varied size and shape and design to reflect the wealth and status of the family. In general, the dining space can accommodate 30 to 40 people in one batch. So obviously when 300 or 400 guests are invited for a wedding, arrangement is made to serve 8 to 10 batches of 40 people. I guess you can imagine the scenario that I am about to describe.

The whole wedding area is divided into two sections – the area where the wedding takes place and the dinning area. The crowd invariable gets concentrated near the dining area. Everyone wants to eat as early as possible. When the dining area is opened for the first batch, a cry goes around that informs everyone that the ordeal has begun. Every guest in the wedding then starts slowly to drift towards the dinning space. Soon the area outside the dinning space becomes claustrophobic. People keep peeping in to see how far the previous batch has proceeded with their meal. The moment they realize that people are starting to come out there ensues a rush. People, irrespective of their religion, gender, social status, profession, start pushing and shoving their way inside the dinning space to get a table for themselves and their family and friend.

Now, if you are having your meal inside and it so happens that you are either a slow eater or love to have a lot, there will be quite a few people who would finish their meal before you do and their exit will trigger off the mad rush to get inside the dining hall. People start filling the area very rapidly and soon you are surrounded by people. Some stand behind you and some stand in front of you, staring at you and your platter with hungry eyes, waiting to grab the seat as soon as you get up. It is impossible to enjoy a good dessert when is in such a situation. Obviously you are forced by decency to finish your meal in a haste and leave the seat to be occupied by the strongest or the cleverest. These people sit down at the table as soon as you leave, even when the leftovers are still on the table and are yet to be cleaned. It is quite disgusting for certain people, including me, to be a part of such a situation. Not many people seem to mind this arrangement though. They say this is tradition. Words are very insufficient to describe the situation that I have dared to portray. I welcome you to attend such a wedding yourself and experience it yourself. I can guarantee that it would be an experience of a lifetime.

Being Fat

I am fat. I am not very proud of that fact. The fat has increased my waistline by 4 inches and my backside. Everyone in my family teases me by saying that I have a backside side a woman. I am trying my best to reduce the fat but in reality I am not trying hard enough. I have cut down on my food intake. I am having just 4 chapatis for dinner whereas I can have 12. I have very little rice for lunch. But dieting has never done anyone any good. What I need to do is exercise. I try to exercise regularly but end up skipping it as something more interesting seems to be cropping up all the time. My sister is supposed to be getting married next month and I am really scared as I do not want to look fat. But there is no time left to do anything about that.

Dieting is not for me. My parents will allow me to have food only three to four times a day and really get furious if they see me eating at odd times. I am eating one third the amount I used to devour and this makes me feel hungry throughout the day. All I can think of the whole day is food! I even dream of food! I do not feel like exercising these days as I have laid my hands on some wonderful books that I want to finish reading before I have to return them.

So – I am fat, I do not want to exercise, I cannot diet, and I want to be slim! Well, that is asking a bit too much I guess. There is nothing wrong being fat except for the fact that I have a tough time stooping down and tying my shoe laces while standing up. Also, everyone makes fun of me as I have always been very thin and because I love to eat. I really do not know what people do in such a situation. Some of my friends are fat, but they have always been fat and they do not complain. They love to eat and no one teases them. But me becoming fat all of a sudden has encouraged people to take potshots at me. But I am trying to reduce the amount of fat around my midriff and it is really an uphill task. One day I will succeed.

Taking The GRE

I have already taken the GRE, the revised GRE. When I was planning to take it and even now, I hear various myths that shroud the GRE and make people panic for no rhyme or reason. When I was planning to sit for the revised GRE all my friends and acquaintances tried their level best to make me take the old GRE. I have already taken the old GRE once but did not fare well as I had fallen seriously ill on the day of the exam. The reason they wanted me to sit for the old GRE again was that I had already taken the test once and knew the pattern, also, there was a huge surplus of guide books and test papers and what not to help me crack it. But I did not listen to them.

I have taken the old GRE once and I know the exam well. It is or was a test of how well you can memorize a set of word-lists, the meanings and antonyms of the words. It was not at all a test of one’s knowledge in English. Also, the words that one had to memorize were mostly of no use. I am sure no one has ever again used or come across half those words after taking their GRE. Only people who can memorize very well can do well in that sort of arena. I am not one of those.

I chose to take the revised GRE for various reasons. The most important reason was that it was absolutely new and no guides were yet available. This gave me an equal advantage with others who were taking the test and this uncertainty was very challenging and exciting. The second important reason was that the verbal section of the revised GRE was completely new and far more difficult. Thankfully it does not require one to memorize word-lists and actually tests one’s knowledge of English. You can crack this section only if you really know English. No crack courses can help you score well in this section. The fill-in-the-blanks required not only the knowledge of what the options meant but also the knowledge of how a sentence is created and how English is written. No amount of memorization can help you in this. Another reason for me taking the revised GRE was the 50% off on the cost of the exam that ETS was offering. I did not have enough money at the time to pay for another GRE.

But even though the GRE has changed, people’s attitude towards it has not changed. I was looking at a website yesterday and saw the review of books that offer guidance for the revised GRE. I was very astounded to find that the reason Barron’s guide was ranked lower than the one by Princeton Review was that Barron had no new word-list for the revised GRE! I mean, why do you need a ‘new’ word-list? Isn’t English and a knowledge of its words the same? I have miserably failed to find the need to learn newer words for a newer exam. Knowing the vocabulary helps a lot but selective learning like this is just chasing the wind. Either you know or you don’t.

The results for the revised GRE are not out yet and I do not know how I have fared in the verbal. Maybe I have done worse than the last time, but given another opportunity, I would rather take the revised GRE than the old one. All my friends had rushed to take the old GRE as it was changing from August of this year because they were scared of the unknown, scared of doing something without a guide. They have done quite well in the GRE and will surely get through good universities. Me – I am happy being myself as I know exactly what I am capable of and I do not need an exam to make me realize that. I love challenges and I love to prove others wrong when I am certain that what I am doing is right. The revised GRE gave me just that challenge but I am yet to prove that the fear of others that taking the revised GRE will only result in a poor score is groundless. People are so scared to walk the path less travelled.