The Future... as they predict...

I have a nice stable job with a good stable salary. It is not a corporate job and so I can come home by 5 in the evening, max. I have a fair, pretty wife, whose family has a lot of money. I also have a house and a Maruti car. My life is complete.

This is what people say would happen to me in the next five years if I clear the NET exam. I clear the NET exam and I shall have a fair, pretty wife whose family has a lot of money or else I shall marry a penniless ugly hag; I clear the NET and I shall get a stable income or else I shall be running from door to door for a job; I clear the NET exam and I shall have a happy settled life or else I am doomed! Well, is it really that dramatic?! I know of a lot of people who have not given the NET and yet have a stable job (even in the corporate world!), a nice house and a pretty wife. And how does it matter whether my wife is rich or penniless as long as I have money enough!

Well, giving into the pressure I went to sit for the exam a second time. Because of this exam I missed out on meeting a friend in Cal, missed out on a trek, missed out on a crucial football match, missed out on a feast, and missed out on sleep! I was woken up at 5 in the morning!

A freezing chill greeted me in the morning as I left for the bus stop for the ride to Burdwan. Jumped onto a bus and sat beside a snoring woman and a broken window, and reached Burdwan just as the sunlight was getting warm. It was a blessing to stand in the sun and bask. I warmed myself up before going inside my exam center. But boy, what an experience it was!

There were women all around, hundreds of them, dressed up and strutting around (obviously with books in front of them). But what struck me as odd was that all of them were on the verge of being pretty, but just not pretty. They were good looking and fair, you would surely give them a second look, but just not pretty. I guess it was the books that had this effect! I was wedged between four girls on four sides. I thought it would be my lucky day but as it turned out, I WAS WRONG!!!! They seemed to have taken a bath in perfume and deo, and by the end of the first half an hour I had a throbbing headache and aching to escape! And I did escape, 45 minutes before the first half of the exam was to get over.

I came out of the hall at 11:15am and gave my mother a call to report my status. She picked up the call and on hearing my voice shrieked, “Have you not given the exam?! What happened?!” It took a lot of effort to convince her that I had actually given the exam and had come out early. In the meantime my father arrived after a fulfilling photoshoot of his alma mater. We decided to watch the noon show at the planetarium which was opposite my exam center. It was a nice one hour show, interspersed by children jabbering excitedly beside me.

I returned to the exam centre at one for the last leg of the NET exam. The exam commenced at 01:30pm and was supposed to get over at 4. It was a pretty straight forward subjective paper of 200 marks. I knew all the questions except two. One was about the Veysara temple style. I know nothing about it and have never heard of it! I am against submitting a blank answer so I tried to guess. The word Veysara seemed to be from the south, so I wrote a page on south Indian temple! I finished the paper and asked permission to leave. The whole hall stared at me. The invigilators consulted among themselves and decided to let me go. So I left the exam hall at 3, an hour before the exam was to get over.

My father asked me jokingly whether it was my aim to leave the hall at 3 so that I can get back home and play. Hardly could he imagine how close he was to the truth. When people asked me how the exam went I gave a diplomatic answer – I have answered all the questions, and now the results will say how I did. A good way to keep off criticism or extra probing. NET is a very important exam for people who are interested in that field. As for me, I would rather enjoy a game of football.

Windows Vista Troubleshooting

I love using the Vista even though my brother, cousin and everyone suggests otherwise. But I like it. It suits me. The only problem is getting softwares that are compatible with it. I sometimes use the ones meant for Windows XP and sometimes my friend helps me out. But for everyone who has Vista I would suggest using the Vista Registry Errors Finder Application for cleaning the registry and repairing the errors. Dude, it works and does not hang. Well, here is a short description of it:

Vista Registry Errors Finder Application offers easy-to-use optimization tools to speed up and improve the stability of your Windows 7, Windows Vista, or Windows XP PC. Regardless of your level of expertise, Vista Registry Errors Finder Application safely cleans, repairs, and optimizes the registry and automatically backs up changes for future recovery. Now includes essential tools to fix Windows security loopholes. Permanently erase your Internet activity, personal files, and free space to keep your information away from prying eyes.

Download and install Vista Registry Errors Finder Application:
http://digeus.com/downloads/regcleaner/files/5/regcleaner_5_5.exe

Learn more about Vista Registry Errors Finder Application:
http://www.digeus.com/products/regcleaner/vista-registry-errors-finder-application.html

Here is the link:

Vista Registry Errors Finder Application

Hope I am some help for the people using Windows Vista like me. Have fun!

What I Want....

What I do not want is difficult to state; and what I want, is virtually impossible to state. We think we want something, we fight for it, we sacrifice for it, and at the end of the day when we get it we are not completely satisfied. When we get what we want, we realize that that is not exactly what we wanted. It is like wanting and getting a chocolate only to find that the expiry date has passed.

Most people say they know what they want (they might actually know) and even I thought I knew what I wanted. But when I got what I wanted, I realized that it was not it – there was something missing. The flavor that we had expected or the joy we thought it would bring was somehow not there. I was happy at achieving my goals, no doubt, but there was something missing. I had wanted to win the swimming championship at my club and after a lot of training I became the champion. I was beaming but not quite very satisfied. I wanted to top my school, I did, but I still was not quite happy. I wanted to be the centre of college life, the dude, I became the dude but did not like it. I want to be surrounded by people, I was surrounded by people, but then I did not like it and broke off. I so want to help people who are close to me, and yet when I try hard to do so, they get hurt. I wanted to fall in love and be the Romeo of the 21st century. I did fall in love but the other people could not or did not love me back; and the people who loved me, I did not love them back. Did it feel great to achieve my goals? No, it surely did not.

I have tried to reason why my disposition is so weird. Am I too fickle? I have not got too much evidence to that end. The only other possibility is that I am lured by the chase rather than the kill. The whole enjoyment and the wanting of something is driven by the excitement of achieving it rather than by the excitement of enjoying what I want after getting it. To put is crassly – I love to hunt and kill, but I do not enjoy eating the meat. Sounds awful doesn’t it? Well, it does sound cheap and awful but it is the truth. I cannot run away from it. But after all this, I still do not know what I want. I knew I did not want to do engineering but I did not know what I would do instead – English or History. I knew I did not want to go to JNU but I neither knew whether to go to DU. I believe I should get inspired by the saying, “Everything happens for a reason” that way I will not blame myself. But you guys tell me, do you know what you want? I seriously do not know what I want. Just going with the flow….

Awesome English!!!

Nehru was on a visit to a school in rural Madhya Pradesh. The Principal of the school introduced him to all the staff members but somehow missed the Physical Education teacher. Nehru shook hands with everyone and at the end asked, "Who is the Physical Education teacher in this school?"

A tall, well-built man in his early forties stepped forward with a huge smile on his face and said, "Sir, I is."

Nehru smiled and replied, "So you are the Physical Education teacher?"

With a broad grin the man replied, "Yes Sir, I are."

The Story of One-Eyed Jack

nce upon a time, long long ago
There lived a boy named One-Eyed Jack
He had a dream, to be a knight,
Save a damsel in distress and make her his wife
But his parents made him a blacksmith and
Married him off to a chubby washer woman
And all his dreams came to naught!

This is the story of most of us. We lack the vision and the strength to fight for what we want. We give in to the wishes of our parents or to peer pressure, failing to realize that you cannot be successful in something that you do not want. Most of us are scared of failure and are scared of living our dreams. We prefer the most common road, doing what everyone does, as the route is chalked out for us and we just hope to make the best of it. Are we happy? No one can answer this question honestly. Some say they have enough money and success to be happy, while others say that at least their future is secure. I do not have an answer to this question. Do you?

Interview With Raghav

December 15, 2010, Paris: It was a very cold but beautiful morning in Paris when I had the opportunity of having an exclusive interview with Raghav, The French. We had our interview over a delicious hot cup of Parisian coffee.





Q. You are known as a very intelligent man, Mr Raghav.
A. (Just smiles)

Q. How do you like Paris and France?
A. Beautiful, very beautiful! Lots of pretty women but cigarettes are very expensive. (Laughs)

Q. Do you plan to stay on in France after your Masters?
A. No, I want to go back to India. My heart is there.

Q. “My heart is there,” is the statement rhetorical?
A. You can take it in a rhetorical sense also.

Q. That means you have someone there waiting for you?
A. Yes, a very special person. I really like her but I do not know whether she likes me or not.

Q. If I am not mistaken, is this girl from your college, your classmate?
A. You seem to know a lot. Yes, that is her. I miss her a lot. We had a great time together. We used to fight but we used to love each other.

Q. It sounds very romantic. Even she said that you guys had a nice time.
A. So you have met her?

Q. Yes, I took her interview a few days back.
A. That’s great! How is she? What did she say?

Q. She is fine. She said that you guys had a wonderful time together…
A. She is always so sweet. That’s why I love her so much. She is such an angel! I miss her eyes!
(Lights a cigarette.)

Q. But she also said that you guys were not in love…
A. What?! Not in love! She does not know what love is! If what we shared was not love than what is love? Go ask her that!

Q. I did but was kicked out..
A. That is so like her! To escape from the truth. But I love her so much and she just refuses to accept that she also loves me!
(Lights another cigarette.)
She knows everything and still she has to fight with me!

Q. Eerr… but she told me that you were the one who was always starting a fight..
A. She said that! Bitch! She is the one who never listens to me and does what she wants! She is the one whose every word I have to listen to or else I don’t love her! What does she think of herself!? I am not her servant! Why should I be the one who always takes the crap? I hate her!

Q. You two seem to share a very strange and funny relationship of love and hate!
A. You find it funny? You find it funny! You piece of shit! What do you know of love, stupid journalist! You guys only know how to cash into other people’s lives and sorrows. And you say it is a relationship of love and hate! Well, young fool, it is a relationship of hate!

Q. But Mr Raghav, a few minutes back you were in could nine thinking about her and now you say you hate her. I really don’t understand…
A. You insolent upstart! You question the integrity and strength of my love for her!? How dare you make such a statement! Get out of here before I kill you!

That was the end of the interview with Raghav The French. I really had a nice time in Paris after the interview. I would suggest to all my readers to visit the City of Romance. It is a wonderful place.

Interview With Anjishnu

December 14, 2010, New Delhi: It was a great experience to have an exclusive interview with the well known heart throb of college, Anjishnu The Great. Here is a full report of the interview.






Journalist: Hello Sir, its good to meet you in person after having heard so much about you.
Anjishnu: Chill dude, call me Anji. Everyone calls me Anji. Want a smoke?

J: Sorry Sir, I don’t smoke.
A: Don’t call me Sir, call me Anji.

J: So Mr Anji...
A: Just Anji for you.

J: You are the heart throb of college...
A: I don’t like to boast its just that people like me, especially girls.

J: So I have heard.
A: Yeah. Ask any girl and they will know me.

J: I have done that and they say that you smoke too much.
A: How many girls did you ask?

J: Ten girls.
A: And how many girls are there in college?

J: Maybe about a few hundred.
A: There you are! You ask ten stupid girls and you believe what they say? They must be the ones who have tried but failed to impress me so are trying to malign my name. There are so many girls who think I am intelligent and cool and find my smoking hot! Smoking keeps me intelligent!

J: How can smoking make anyone intelligent?
A: You are so ignorant! Have you not heard of the epic paper I presented on the importance of smoking last year in the National Science Fest! Go do your homework before you come and waste my time.

J: What about your friends?
A: What about them?

J: Well, what do you have to say about them and their influence on you?
A: What kind of an ass are you?! I am Anji The Great! I don’t get influenced, I influence. All of my friends are grateful that I am their friend! There is this Bihari guy who thinks he is cool, then there is this fat girl with specs who thinks she is hot, and there is this bearded sad guy from MA who thinks he can flirt. I don’t have the heart to tell them that they are shit compared to me. They just bask in the shadow of my glory.

J: I heard you are having a relationship in college and this girl is senior to you?
A: You have heard right. I am in a relationship, but hey, love has no boundaries of age or sex!

J: So you must be loving her a lot?
A: Ya, kind of.

J: Kind of?
A: Well, you see, she was a friend and she was blinded by my greatness and fell for me. There were other girls also who were falling for me but then she is a Brahmin and the daughter of a banker. I kind of liked her.

J: So you chose her because of her caste or her money?
A: How dare you come to my house and say such dirty things about me! You uncultured savage! You are nothing compared to me! Get out of my house!

Well, that was the end of an eventful and enlightening interview with the heart throb of college, Anjishnu the Great, who also likes to call himself Anji. This journalist has merely presented the text of the interview and expresses no opinion.

Look forward to our exclusive interview with Raghav The French in tomorrow’s issue.