Interview With Smt Debarati Bhaumik

December 13, 2010, Kolkata: After many days of persuasion, Smt Debarati Bhaumik, the great celebrity of college gossip has finally agreed to be interviewed by this scribe about her life in college. I went to her house in Kolkata for an exclusive interview.






Q. It’s a great honour talking to you!
A. Everyone tells me that. Tell me something new.

Q. Er.. Well…
A. Please do not waste my time. Ask me your questions.

Q. So you did your BSc from St Stephen’s College..
A. Like daaaa… Everyone knows that.

Q. So how was your experience there?
A. What can I say, people there enjoyed my company. There was this Bihari who thought he loved me, an old MA idiot who wanted to hang out with me, a sickly little fuccha who always tagged along and a Rajasthani chick who thinks she can play badminton also tried to be my friend. Poor souls! I had pity on them and they believe I have made their life in college enjoyable. Nice guys, just not my type.

Q. Some people say that you had a boyfriend in college. What do you have to say about that?
A. People talk rubbish. There was this guy, the Bihari I was talking about. Well, we spent a lot of time together. We went to many places together. We always used to hang out. But he used to stink of tobacco. But we were not in love. We just spent a lot of time together and I used to worry about him, worry about his health and his studies, but we were not in love. I took him to my house to meet my parents but we were not in love.

Q. But was he not in love with you?
A. Who told you that? Anyway, he said he was. He is a nice guy, you know, he used to care for me a lot. But we were not in love.

Q. Didn’t you guys fight a lot when you two were in a relationship?
A. First of all we were not in a relationship. We were not in love. But yes we fought a lot. He was an ass. He always screwed up everything and he always irritated me and never listened to me. He was a stubborn pig.

Q. No one person can be at fault. You must have done something.
A. What ?! You think I was at fault?! Do you even know that Bihari, that you point a finger at me?! Look at my big and beautiful eyes, do you think I can be at fault?! I am just a poor little girl. He was at fault always!!

Q. But you just said that he cares for you…
A. That he does. He is basically a nice guy but he is always at fault when we have a fight. I really like him and he likes me, but we are not in love, and he is always irritating me.

Q. Why are you always saying that “we are not in love”?
A. What do you mean?

Q. As in, you have said “but we are not in love” several times but you have never said that you are not in love with him…

Well, that was the end of the interview. As soon as I asked that question she went red and kicked me out of the house. In accordance with the principles of journalism I am not supposed to assume anything so I shall refrain from giving my own opinion of the last question. If anyone is too curious they can ask her at their own peril.

Look out for our next exclusive interview with the great Anjishnu, the heart throb of college, to be published tomorrow or day after tomorrow.