For some time now people have been asking me: what next? I have told various people various things, that I shall go on to do my PhD or that I shall sit for the IAS examinations – but is that really what I want to do? I have been turning this question and others in my mind for the past few days and it seems that I may have found what I want to do. My ambition might seem ridiculous to some people and even blasphemous, but it is my ambition for the time being nonetheless.
I want to do something illegal, something really illegal. You may ask me why? Most of you are morally upright and law-abiding citizens of this world, but ask yourself, have you never done something illegal in your life? You may argue that it was so small and inconsequential that the moral code does not apply to it. I think a little differently. If I am already doing something at least let me do it well – let me do something really illegal. Doing something like that is very exciting, it gives you a reason to live, a reason to fight, a reason to enjoy life. Before you all come to a judgement will you not ask me what is so illegal that I have set my mind on? Well, it is a little unconventionally illegal – I want to be an arms dealer, a war-lord.
Shocked? Well, do not be. So what if I am a Stephanian? Can there not be a Stephanian war-lord or arms dealer. Stephanians are supposed to rule wherever they go and so I want to rule the world of arms dealing. I want to be the most powerful and the most influential arms dealer in the world, even the number one on the list of Interpol. It is crazy? Not at all. I have given it quite a thought and even though everyone who has heard me thinks it is a mad idea, I think it is quite reasonable. You know what? These people who think that my idea is mad are actually cowards who do not have the will-power and stamina to be the best. They are afraid of failing and embarrassing themselves. I have no such inhibitions. I have failed so miserably so many times in life that I know it is worth a try. Look at all the mafia kingpins and drug-lords; how many of them are caught? When I become the best, no one will even dare to question me as most of the politicians of the world will be indebted to or dependant on me, and they cannot possibly let go of me. Initially you need to be careful I accept, but in which profession do you not need to be careful? It’s the jungle law that prevails in the world now; survival of the fittest. Its better to rule than be ruled.
There are some problems though. I have been thinking over them lately. Though they are imposing problems, they are not impossible. There are not enough conflicts raging in the world and even then there seems to be, on the surface at least, very few sources of arms. Its not the end of the Cold War era that there are abandoned Russian arsenal to buy up. It all has to be semi-illegal. Let me explain what I mean by this. The LTTE army in Sri Lanka has been cornered. They need arms and supplies to fight on. Now, the Tamil Nadu government is strongly for the LTTE rebels and is strongly advocating the interference of India and the international community to intervene in favour of the ethnic Tamils and the LTTE. This is a very opportune moment for someone with my ambitions. I could supply the LTTE army with arms and supplies through the Tamil Nadu government; I know I will have to bribe my way through, but the rewards of success are immense. What if the international community imposes an embargo on Sri Lanka (which I think is beyond the question but a hypothesis will help me put my arguments across)? What then? I will change sides. I will flout the embargo and supply arms to the Sri Lankan army. Now do not ask me how I will flout the embargo and customs and so on and so forth for I am not going to disclose it to you all. Come on now, if I tell you my trade secrets some of you might want to follow the path and make it more difficult for me to succeed as I shall have to displace extra people and that means extra time. Now, time is a very important consideration in this profession. A few hours can ruin your plans and operations as some ceasefire may have been called or peace treaty signed. So I cannot waste any more time than what is essential. I hope you all grasp my point.
Morals, humanity, principles? What of them? Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you that a coin always has two sides to it. You can always look at an event in at least two perspectives. You have always looked upon this profession from a single point of view; let me show you the other side of the coin. What is one of the major concerns of the world today? Poverty. And what is its main cause? Rising population. Exactly what you are thinking – I am reducing the population pressure. Inhuman? Yes, but what is the point of talking about humanity when the people involved have never tasted humanity in their lifetime, people who do not know the meaning of peace, people who will keep on fighting no matter what. As Musolini once said “Peace is absurd.” I am just helping them get over their fight as quickly as possible. Newer arms are more deadly than the previous ones as they kill instantly and the victims do not have to suffer agonising pain. The faster people die, the slower they will be able to reproduce and thus lesser people to fight and matters will come to such a pass that fighting will have to end for there will be too few to fight and fight against.
Look at it from another point of view. As population goes down, so will be the pressure on natural resources. Arms production will use up resources but even the production of arms will fall as the people fighting will keep on decreasing. A lot of other supplies like food grains and milk that would have otherwise been sent to them as aid could be then redistributed in markets of the originating country, in turn decreasing the prices of goods. As areas of conflict keep on decreasing due to decreasing population, more land would be available for use; more mineral rich areas will be available for use. I agree that once a point of low population is reached, thus fewer and smaller conflicts, in the world, population will rise again and so will conflict. But that will take many years and I believe that at least two generations will be able to live on this planet in peace and plenty. Global warming will be on the rise, I agree. I think it is worth a try. Why are we penny wise and pound foolish? Why can we not plan for the future? Why do we lack foresight? What stops us from presenting our children with a better world where there will be lesser pressure on the natural resources and lesser conflict? My ambition is not narrow minded or immoral. It is for the betterment of all of us; it is for the betterment of the generations to come. I should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for the reduction of conflict and protection of the environment if I am successful in this profession and am able to fulfil what I envisage for the future. Ladies and gentlemen, I need your support for I will need you all when I fight for your future and the future of this world.
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