LIES!!!

Why do people lie? Is it a disease or is it an addiction? For some it is an addiction. They love the way people react to it. For some it is the urge to impress others that makes them lie. For this pirate, it was an urge to belong to a group that made him lie.

I was very new to college and all the stories I was told of college life was about belonging to a group. When I joined college, the in-thing to do was to smoke and dope. If you did it, you belonged to an elite group in college made up of studs. If you failed, you joined the ranks of the weirdos and geeks and remained out of the happening circle. I loved the limelight and the activities. I wanted to belong. Everyone came to know me as the guy who used to be a chain smoker in class 10 and 11 but had given it up in class 12. I took a drag now and then to prove that I still knew how to smoke. I tried joints too.

The fact of the matter is that the urge to belong made me lie. I had smoked only twice in school and I hated the smell. Also, my father had made an offer I could not resist. He had promised to buy me chocolates. When you have chocolates who needs to smoke!!?! But to belong to the group in college I had to smoke so I fabricated the story of me being an ex-chain-smoker. They did not force me to smoke after that, but they did offer me a smoke now and then which I had to refuse on some pretext. The lies regarding smoking became my second nature, I began to live it. I tried joint twice – did not like it either. It tastes and smells like burnt leaves, the smoke of which I hate.

My illusions lasted a year. I found that many of my friends had become addicted to smoke and dope trying to fit in. I had taken a different route but for the same purpose – I had tried to fit in. I gave up trying to conform when I was not meant to. But man is weak and I am weak too. I did not make any attempt to enlighten others as to the truth, and neither did I completely deny the fact when juniors asked me, but I did not speak of it anymore. Even pirates are sometimes scared of the dark when they have seen the limelight.

The worst part of this lying business is the fact that one starts believing in it. They start living the lie, as I did. But that is the worst thing possible. One deludes oneself. It is madness; and the madness soon turns into a disease, which is very difficult to cure. To make matters worse, if one is discovered, his character is sullied for a long time to come. Society and its people are very apt at spreading and magnifying the dark side of one’s charecter, regardless of how good the person is otherwise.

Have I changed, I ask myself sometimes. The fact is I do not know. I still sometimes hide the truth to impress others; I do not lie but neither do I tell the truth. What is this? Is this still the urge to belong? Or is it an addiction?