Weddings and Food

I live in a small town in the state of West Bengal in India. Here things are done very differently from that in a metropolitan city like Calcutta. One such difference I would like to talk about – weddings. Weddings in small towns and in the rural areas are very different from those that are held in Calcutta.

A marriage in a small town is a very familial issue and is held dear by everyone around. Neighbours voluntarily take part in the rituals and the celebrations and they take it upon themselves to make the wedding a success. But sometimes this over-enthusiasm gets too unbearable for people who are not used to such an environment. I love the whole wedding ceremony but I hate the part where guests are supposed to eat. That, my dear friends, is a nightmare in itself.

In almost all small town and rural weddings, the buffet system is frowned upon and deemed too impersonal. Guests are expected to be seated and served their meal. In many cases family members taken upon themselves the charge of serving the guests and in other times caterers are hired to do the job. A temporary construction of bamboo and fancy cloth is erected to serve as the dinning space. This construction, called the pandal in the local parlance, can be of varied size and shape and design to reflect the wealth and status of the family. In general, the dining space can accommodate 30 to 40 people in one batch. So obviously when 300 or 400 guests are invited for a wedding, arrangement is made to serve 8 to 10 batches of 40 people. I guess you can imagine the scenario that I am about to describe.

The whole wedding area is divided into two sections – the area where the wedding takes place and the dinning area. The crowd invariable gets concentrated near the dining area. Everyone wants to eat as early as possible. When the dining area is opened for the first batch, a cry goes around that informs everyone that the ordeal has begun. Every guest in the wedding then starts slowly to drift towards the dinning space. Soon the area outside the dinning space becomes claustrophobic. People keep peeping in to see how far the previous batch has proceeded with their meal. The moment they realize that people are starting to come out there ensues a rush. People, irrespective of their religion, gender, social status, profession, start pushing and shoving their way inside the dinning space to get a table for themselves and their family and friend.

Now, if you are having your meal inside and it so happens that you are either a slow eater or love to have a lot, there will be quite a few people who would finish their meal before you do and their exit will trigger off the mad rush to get inside the dining hall. People start filling the area very rapidly and soon you are surrounded by people. Some stand behind you and some stand in front of you, staring at you and your platter with hungry eyes, waiting to grab the seat as soon as you get up. It is impossible to enjoy a good dessert when is in such a situation. Obviously you are forced by decency to finish your meal in a haste and leave the seat to be occupied by the strongest or the cleverest. These people sit down at the table as soon as you leave, even when the leftovers are still on the table and are yet to be cleaned. It is quite disgusting for certain people, including me, to be a part of such a situation. Not many people seem to mind this arrangement though. They say this is tradition. Words are very insufficient to describe the situation that I have dared to portray. I welcome you to attend such a wedding yourself and experience it yourself. I can guarantee that it would be an experience of a lifetime.