Loved and Lost and Loved Again

Amit and Sukanya were very close friends.. that’s not a story, it seems idiotic! Here’s a tale to tell.

He was in bed, staring up at the revolving fan without even noticing it. He was sweating. Was it hot? No. Then why was he sweating, he thought. There was something very uncomfortable about the night. There was a sense of emptiness in his stomach. He flipped to one side, as if to clear his mind but all that did was to make his thoughts more clear. He had fallen in love. O, what a girl she was! He had fallen in love at first sight, just as the movies and novels say happens. The clouds parted, the sunshine shone and she emerged! So poetic! The perfect love story! What with her boyfriend and all…. After all they were destined to be together! Did The Alchemist not say that if you want something from the bottom of your heart, the universe conspires to give you that? Well, he wanted her so bad that the universe will give her to him. Her boyfriend can go to hell! But did it work out? Not at all. He had floundered – he had made his feeling clear, very obvious, and she had politely rejected him. She had rejected HIM!!! Him, the guy who loved her like mad; the guy who was ready to do anything for her! But he knew the power of love – they say if you keep on loving someone, she will surely come back. So he was to continue loving her. But here lay the trouble. There was something very wrong, something seriously wrong – she was fading! Was it that he did not love her anymore? And who is this girl who is taking up all his thoughts? Who was this new girl for whose call he was waiting every day, for whose smses he waited, for whom he waited to come online? Who was this girl? She was just his friend and nothing much. He repeated to himself that she was just a friend. But that did not comfort him, the emptiness increased. Who was she?!

She stared at the ceiling. Sleep was nowhere in sight. All that was present was the bed she was lying on and that strange void in her tummy. She had never felt like this before. She had fallen for a guy, what a disaster! How could she fall in love? She had told all her friends that she would never fall in love and here she was, in a relationship. She remembered that day when she finally realized that what had happened was not love but something else. What something else… that did not matter now. It was over between the two of them and she was relieved. She would never fall in love again. But who knew friendships also created voids inside? What was wrong with her? Why was she thinking so much about this friend, a guy, so much. She even stared at her mobile these days, waiting for an sms or call from him. She even went online just to chat with him. What was going on?

She was just a friend, wasn’t she? However much he tried to make himself believe this he became more confused. She was indeed a friend but then why was he waiting eagerly for her to call or sms? He did not wait for any other friend like that. She was always making fun of him with his other friends. She was the one who was bugging him to stop smoking and it was sometimes irritating. Why would he think about her so much? Yes, she did listen to his woes of love and even gave him advice, but that was that. They had been chatting for the whole break and he did not seem to have enough of her voice and her jokes. He somehow liked her making fun of him. Was that strange? Or was he feeling something?

What exactly was going on? She still liked making fun of him and she still got irritated by him smoking. How many times had he asked him to quit! He never listens to her. He was just another friend even though they chatted so often during the break. She thought she hated his attitude and that foolish girl he was running after. But did she hate his attitude that much? Not exactly. She had to force herself to hate it. And why did she hate this girl so much? Maybe because she is a snob and acts like a damsel-in-distress. Yes, that was the reason! She hated her because of that and he had nothing to do with it. There were so many other guys in her life but then why was she always thinking about him all the time? The void inside her was increasing, she could feel it. Was she feeling something?

God, she was sweet! Her large eyes seemed to penetrate deep into him and understand him. Her company relaxed him and made him feel safe and invulnerable. Her jokes made him laugh. And when she laughed, the whole world seemed to laugh with her.

He was shabby and disorderly. But his eyes, his sparkling eyes made her knees weak. His antics made her wish she could live in that moment for eternity. He made her smile. When she was with him, she felt so safe, so at home, so comfortable. He made everything look so beautiful. And when he talked, she wished he would go on talking, does not matter what, for his voice was enchanting.

Was he in love? How could that be? The books, the songs, the movies, all say that you love once. And did he not love that other girl? If he was in love now, what was it that he had felt before? And if that had been love, what was he feeling now? He had never been so swept away. Was it that he was in love? Was it that he was experiencing love for the first time? She was overpowering his thoughts. What was it? Was he in love? Was he really in love with this girl? Was HE in love?

Was she in love? But how could she? She had said she would never fall in love again. She would not make the same mistake twice. Or would she? He did not match the idea of her dream prince riding on a white horse. He smoked! Was that not reason good enough! But why was she thinking about all this? Was it that this guy was making her fall in love once again? But she had never felt like this before, not even when she was in a relationship. If she was in love then, what was this? And if this was love… it felt nice. But why would she think about it? It was his job to think.

Would she say a yes? What if she refuses him? He will lose a friend, a very good friend if she says a no. He did not even know whether she loved him! Did she even think about him like he thought about her? How would he tell her that he love her? Will she believe him? He prayed to God to give him strength.

Does he love her? Will he ever think of her as more than a friend? Should she ask him? What if he asks her? Should she say a yes instantly? She prayed to God to give her the strength.

Sleep is a strnge being. She creeps up on you and possesses you before you know it. Sleep possessed these two friends finally. They slept off, dreaming of being with each other. God bless them.