The Name

My feet were freezing. The wind blew strong. The sun was shining brightly on the building in front of me but I was in the shade. Winter in Delhi is cold, very cold, and I was freezing – at least that was what my almost blue feet were indicating. I kept staring at the balcony on the building opposite mine on the floor above mine.

College in Delhi was fun and winter meant running off to my grandparents flat in Dwarka. Their sprawling flat on the 7^th floor was a piece of heaven. I was the prince of the house and grandmother spared no efforts to pamper me. There was cable television, air condition, geyser, and my favourite – the balcony overlooking the sprawling fields that had been marked for new construction. I loved sitting on the balcony. The sun shone brightly throughout the afternoon and you could see far into the distance. Sometimes the aircraft from the nearby airport could be seen gliding in to land. It was mesmerizing. I always waited desperately for winter to come so that I could go there.

The flat had three balconies and I almost never ventured to the others as they were shaded from the warm winter sun. That winter was no different. I came the very day my college closed for the winter vacations, armed with a couple of books to read while I spent time on the balcony.

With the sun shining brightly on the balcony and after taking a hot bath, I arranged the two red plastic chairs so that I could rest my feet on one and sat back closing my eyes. Minutes later my grandmother woke me up. She wanted me to remove a few articles from the balcony that lay in the shade, which was basically used as the godown. I showed my irritation at the prospect of having to leave the warmth but she kept on pestering me sweetly and finaly bribed me into going there with the promise of a special treat for dinner.

The balcony was cold. It was piled with junk. It was not the place I would like to spend an extra second in. I rummaged through the various boxes looking for the jacket that my grandmother said was there. There was this cardboard box that was sealed and I began to have a strong suspicion that the jacket was in it. I poked the box from all sides and I felt something soft inside. I caught hold of the box and heaved it off the ground – well, only the box came up and everything inside it burst out as the base gave way. I was furious. That was when I heard that soft giggle.

It came from an angel standing on the balcony of the building opposite ours and a floor above. She had been watching me and could not control herself. She put her hand on her mouth to stop giggling when she saw that I was looking at her. She was beautiful. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. The sun shone brightly on her face and I could see her eyes twinkling. She was magical. Her jet black hair that she was trying to comb blew in the air. I forgot where I was or the sense of anything. I was completely mesmerized by her. My grandmother broke my trance by screaming at me from inside. I smiled at her and she smiled back. Reluctantly I went back inside.

My grandmother was very surprised when I came inside empty handed. I had completely forgotten about the jacket. This made me very happy and I rushed back to the balcony. She was not there but the jacket was – lying on the floor below a few other things. I checked my watch. It was one thirty in the afternoon.

The next day I took my bath quite early in the morning. My favourite balcony was no more my favourite. I had to see this girl again. I stationed myself at the balcony in the shade from noon onwards and tried to look busy by shifting through the stuff there but keeping a sharp eye on the balcony above. Time seemed to stand still and the cold drove me mad but I grit my teeth and stayed put. It was around one in the afternoon that she came onto the balcony in a blue dress. Her hair was wet and blew in the wind. She did her best to dry her hair in the sun and comb it. I tried to look busy but found it hard to look away from her. She looked more beautiful than the first time I had seen her. I could feel the cold no more but could only hear my heart beating in my throat. After a long time she took notice of me and smiled. I smiled back and the smile stuck to my face. She kept on combing her hair till she had tied it properly. Then she gave me a wave that sent my heart flying away and went in. I was in love and madly so.

She always came to the balcony at around one and combed and dried her hair. My whole day was spent waiting for the afternoon when I would see her on the balcony. I could not sleep or pay attention to anything. My grandmother thought I had taken ill as I spent too much time in the balcony in the shade. She wondered aloud what I found so interesting in the garbage dumped there. I said nothing as I registered nothing. It was only her face that kept me company when I was awake or asleep. I tried my best to impress her. I went to the balcony with a book and leaned on to the railing pretending to read intently but I kept staring at her through the corner of my eyes. Someday she wore yellow, someday pink, but she looked the prettiest in blue. It was always the same routine, she smiled at me, I smiled back, I kept looking at her while she combed her hair, she waved at me, I waved back, and then she went in. We never talked. I tried desperately to talk but my throat dried up whenever she looked at me. I perspired and my brain would stop working. What could I do, I was in love. I spent ten days looking at her standing in the balcony combing her hair. I even caught a cold, but who cares. Those half hours of those ten days were gloriously beautiful.

On the eleventh day she did not come, neither did she come to the balcony on the twelfth. It was almost time for my college to reopen and I had just two days to see her and maybe talk to her or at least ask her name. I stood on the freezing balcony throughout the morning and afternoon hoping to catch a glimpse of her but the balcony remained empty. I thought several times that I would go to the other building and enquire about her but I was scared. Scared of what I do not know but I could not make myself go to that building. I just stood on that balcony playing out in my mind over and over again what I would say to her when I saw her. Was she elder to me? Was she younger? Did she have a boyfriend? Was she married? What was her name? Where did she study? Will she like me? Will she think I am desperate? Will she talk to me? How will her voice sound? Can she sing? How beautiful her eyes are, but does she wear spectacles? How will she look with spectacles? Does she like books? Movies? Where is she from? There were so many questions and so many probable answers. But she never came. I just stood there on that cold balcony waiting for a glimpse of her. She never came and I never went.

I came back to my college hostel. Life resumed but that girl on the balcony remains on my mind even after so many years. Her black hair, the sun on her face, her twinkling eyes, the dimple on her right cheek! What would I not give for another half an hour on that balcony watching her comb her hair. But I never enquired after her. I was afraid – afraid of what I do not know and cannot explain. All I know is that however much I tried I could not bring myself to go to that building. I just loved her from that balcony.

My grandmother passed away that year and my grandfather sold the flat and moved back to Kolkata. I never got a chance to go back to that balcony and watch that angel of a girl comb her hair in the sun. I never knew her name. I just saw her smile and I was in love.

Why This Kolaveri Di

"Why This Kolaveri Di is cacophonic enough make Cacofonix run for the woods.


Nothing is happening in India. There is this small issue of FDI and BJP tussle. Politicians are stalling the Parliament session. The 2G scam continues. Oh, Kingfisher is struggling to stay afloat. Apart from these tiny hiccups all is right in every part of India. And credit for such a pleasant weather goes to the singer of the Tanglish song Why This Kolaveri Di - Dhanush, who is also Rajnikant's son in law.

The worst wave to hit India since Macarena, Barbie Girl and Saturday Night, the song has simultaneously murdered two cultures - the English language and Indian cinema. That's not enough. The pathetic video to the song has become a Facebook viral, finding fans in Japan, Thailand and NRIs all over the place. Imagine your five-year old singing, "Yo boys I'm singing song. Soup song. Flop song... Why this Kolaveri di?... Distance la moon-u moon-u, moon-u color-u white-u, white background night-u night-u, night-u color-u black-u."

The ill-effects can already be felt and sadly, a fellow journalist is involved. Employed by one of India's most reputed papers, she had the courage to compare the song with Sukumar Ray's Abol Tabol and Lewis Caroll's Hunting of the Snark. She has, in fact, gone out of her way (and mind) to find meaning in the song. This is solid s*** maestro!"

This is taken from a column in The Statesman of today and I found it very interesting. A friend of mine introduced me to this song saying that this was the most brilliant song and it is just awesome (she can be pardoned as she is head-over-heels about Dhanush). I did not find the song brilliant in any way. The tune is quite nice and the best quality of the song is that it can be sung in tune even when one is drunk. Well, the previous statement will surely put my physical safety in jeopardy! I hope this is not the last post I write, but frenkly speaking, I did not get the song and still do not get it. The same friend tried to male me realise that the song had a meaning and that it was a bit chauvinist, but I still fail to see her point. But then, love is blind and lovers cannot see, and neither can she.

For A Few Pieces of Silver: The FDI Stunt

The Indian government has shown an absolute lack of understanding of the Indian economy. They seem to be living in their own world of dreams without any clue as to the reality. The Indian government has announced a 51% FDI (Foreign Direct Investment) in retail. The major retail outlets from all over the world are now going to flock into the Indian market. The so-called reason for such a stunt is that this move will create millions of jobs and reduce unemployment. Can anyone give me a lamer reason?

The world economy has been facing a large number of problems recently and has even undergone a major recession that has seem the collapse of many a company and a hike in unemployment. This was true for most countries but India was more or less cushioned against these upheavals. Our economy maintained a decent growth rate and the rise in unemployment was marginal. This was a result of our partial seclusion from the world economy. Thus, when international companies were collapsing due to their stupid policies, the Indian economy was stable as these companies did not have a major share in our economy. The economic troubles are not over yet and the short-sightedness of the international  companies promises an imminent recession that is going to have a far worse effect than the last one.

Opening the Indian market to these companies at this time only exposes the Indian economy and growth to the vagaries of decisions of nincompoop managers who think they know the working of the world economy. This is madness to say the least. Retail market expansion would also lead to food inflation as most of the agricultural produce would be under their control – giving them an opportunity to manipulate the price of food. And talking about employment, if the government had looked at the ground realities in India it would have realized its folly. Millions of people are engaged in retail marketing and make a living out of it. This market is very stable and caters to local needs which in turn lead to more employment at the local level. International retail companies would be destroying this fine economic balance and more people would be unemployed as compared to the number of people who get employed by these companies. I do not blame these companies as it is their job to tap newer markets and the Indian market is a diamond mine. But it was the job of the government to look into the economic welfare of its citizens. With the innumerable corruption charges and scams against the present government, I am inclined to believe that this move had nothing to do with economic considerations, apart from narrow selfish ones for those in power. They have sold us out for a few pieces of silver.

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Vampires Don't Die

Vampires do not die. That is what I learnt when I became a vampire in the late 1800s. I was very happy when I found out that I would be young forever as I would hate to be Tithonus. But then I was young and inexperienced and could not foresee my future in the 21^st Century.

The 21^st Century is a very different ball game altogether. Throughout the 20^th Century, we vampires had had fun. We are generally harmless as opposed to how we are portrayed in Hollywood movies. We only hunt for food and in that too we are very gentle. We will make you unconscious and drink only a part of your blood through small cuts. When you will wake up, which is generally a few hours later, all you will feel is a bit dizzy. We vampires were originally mere mortals but were converted into vampires through a process that is a trade secret.

I was a peasant boy from Italy only having turned 18 when I became a vampire. The times were great and our numbers strong. We roamed from country to country and even fought in the two World Wars. The wars are always a feast for us as men kill men and we get to drink the blood. No one seems to mind that. I have been to almost all the countries in the world, met numerous people and I know several languages. A century is a long time but it passes so quickly. I remember everything I did ever since I became a vampire, but I shall not bore you with that. Ah, they were good times….

But these days it is very difficult to make two ends meet. Even though we are vampires, we love people and we love to be in their company. Humans show so many emotions, eat so many different foods, drink so many different drinks and they have so many ingenuous ways to have fun. But we vampires began to shun their company almost overnight during the 1990s. This was the time when glasses and mirrors were used widely for construction. You must know that we have no reflection and so does everyone. As more and more places began to have buildings and houses with mirrors, it was becoming difficult for us to be with people lest our identity be revealed.

By the 21^st Century, it has become impossible for us to go out and meet people. We now stick to the back alleys. Now here we faced another problem. Get hold of a fellow who comes to the back alley and you could be sure that he takes drugs or drinks too much. Their blood is already poisoned. This we learnt to our dismay when a large number of us fell very sick after drinking this poisonous blood. Initially we did not know what was wrong. So we went ahead and made a scientist a vampire. We provided him with all the facilities necessary and after a year of research he came up with this reason. So now when we get a fellow in the back alley we have to ask him several questions about whether he or she takes drugs or drinks, check for needle marks, and mostly we find that their blood is poisoned. Many of us are very weak and sick due to the lack of blood. Lack of blood can even lead to our death. Many of my companions have died out of thirst and we are only a handful left to fend for ourselves.

Why do the youth of today take poisonous drugs, smoke and drink so much? Why can they not be like their ancestors who had so many other ways to enjoy themselves other than taking drugs? Why do they not play games? Why do they spend so much money on buying drugs and drinks when they can eat healthy food with that money and live longer? Why are they depriving us from our life blood?

We cannot grab hold of people and drink their blood because if people find out that we exist, they are going to burn us to death with no sympathy at all. Men can be merciless you know. The poisoned blood is also present in the countryside these days. Humans have become very inhuman. They no longer wage proper wars so that we can drink the blood. We follow the news minutely and whenever a war breaks out we run towards that location but even before we reach the war zone, the war is over. We got a lease of life when the USA attacked Afghanistan and Iraq, and we will support them if they want to wage another war with Iran or anyone. We need blood or else we shall perish.

Vampires do not die, but when they do not get blood for long, they die. Me and several others are at our death beds. Some are terminally sick after drinking poisoned blood. It is our humble request to mankind to become human once more. You have lost all your human instincts. You do not kill or slay anymore, you do not spill blood anymore. Look at your illustrious predecessors who ruled by the blade of his sword. Why do you not do the same? Become humans, wage wars, and save the life of this poor vampire.

Human Resource and India

I have been reading these books on human resource management for some time now. These books talk about the innate capacity of human beings to work and their desire to do something useful. I do not at all agree with most of these theories. These theories do not seem to apply in the Indian context, or rather, they do not support my own experience with employees and employers. I agree that I am not qualified enough to question these theories as I have never held a ‘real job’ and have always worked as a volunteer for NGOs, but I have friends and acquaintances who are employees in various corporate and government organizations. From what they have to say, these theories seem very baseless in the Indian context.

Three of my cousins and most of my friends work in software development companies and are located in various companies. I have known them for childhood and I know that they are not interested in making a mark in society. They want the money. They took the job as a job in a software company means greater social status, relatively more money and postings at metropolitan cities where they can party (basically get drunk). Some have taken up the job because they do not want to study anymore and others have taken up the job because everyone else was doing so. They do not like the job, they do not want to look for a new job and they do not want to do something different.

Here many will point out that this is because the organization is not giving them enough incentives to work sincerely. If that is the case, then why is the scenario the same in corporate houses that are known to be one of the best employers? Why is this the case in MNCs? Why is this the case even in public organizations?

I live in an industrial town. The main industry here is the steel plant and almost everyone around me works here. The employees are provided with subsidized living quarters, electricity and water, and are even given coupons for shopping. The pay is great and on top of that there are a number of bonuses and holiday packages throughout the year. The working hours are also not very taxing. This being the case, most people are not very happy with it. They crib and cry all the time about how bad their condition is and that they are being exploited by the management. There are uproars if the management asks them to work an extra hour. There were other industries in this town but they have all been closed down due to militant trade unionism. Now the employees have no jobs and many are poverty stricken.

How can you use Western ideas of Human Resource Management to the Indian scenario? Here people do not want to work at all but want to be paid more than they deserve. Here all people care about is money and social status. They do not care about the world at large. They do not follow the news and they do not want to make a difference. They just want to be rich and show off. India needs new theories of Human Resource Management keeping in mind the character of the people here and what motivates them. Western ideas need to be modified when applying to the Indian scenario.

Despicable!!!

Rahul Gandhi is called the Prince of the Congress Party. Politicians and party members alike kiss the ground he walks on. This fellow decides to address a rally in the village of Phulpur in UP. At this rally, a student from Allahabad University protested by carrying a black flag. The student was not shouting slogans, nor was he armed. He was standing there with the flag. Police and Rahul Gandhi’s aides were quick enough to attack him and beat him up mercilessly. Jitin Prasad, a politician and close aide of Rahul Gandhi, went ahead and kicked and beat the student severely along with police. Are we supposed to tolerate this? Is this democracy? And after all this, we still kiss the ground that these politicians walk on? The police could have arrested him or made the student leave the venue but instead they chose to beat him up mercilessly. Maybe he belonged to another political party but that is no civilized or democratic way of treating dissension or opposition. This issue will be hushed up very soon. The media will forget about it tomorrow and we shall go on worshiping these politicians. Are these people to decide our fate, who beat up people who have something different to say? This is despicable and there are no excuses.

The world at large calls India a democratic country but pray tell me where is the democracy? Corrupt politicians abound. Criminal cases against them are hushed up. They are reelected time and again. They always break their promises. They tolerate no opposition and even use force to subdue dissenting voices. We are scared of complaining against them for fear of our own physical safety. Where is the democracy in this? I once heard in a movie, “Peace is not the absence of violence, but it is the presence of justice”. I paraphrase it in this context, “Democracy is not the presence of innumerable political parties, but it is the presence of justice”.

Watch the video on YouTube at this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgpzpxbz9hI